ASSES#144 + LINK TO OUR TELEGRAM COMMUNITYIt’s absolutely essential that, every now and then, we share a good dose of butts here at ALRNCN. This isn’t just about visual satisfaction—oh no. This goes way beyond that: it’s a matter of survival. The very existence of every living being on this planet depends on it. Yes, a terrible curse looms over us, and these posts are the only thing keeping total chaos at bay.
I know what you’re thinking: “This guy is pulling my leg, exaggerating, or making up some wild story.” And honestly, I hope you believe that. I’d rather you think so because the truth would be too much for you to handle. You’re not ready to face certain secrets. So, just sit back, enjoy the content, and leave the conspiracies and fantasies to the flat-earthers and those who find hidden messages in Ikea catalogs.
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Nippon Egao Hyakkei.
ALONE WITH CARMEN VOL9Carmen retrograde is the ultimate antidote to cosmic chaos.
If something can go wrong, it will. And if we’re in Mercury retrograde, get ready for your phone to glitch, to be late to everything, and, for some inexplicable reason, for your ex to suddenly reappear.
Because yes, according to astrology, every time Mercury enters its infamous retrograde phase, the universe decides to put us to the test. It’s supposedly the time when everything spirals out of control: misunderstandings, tech failures, canceled trips, and terrible decisions you’ll later regret. And for some reason, it’s mostly women who have faith in this phenomenon. If you’ve ever heard, "Don’t sign anything this week, Mercury is in retrograde", chances are it came from a woman.
But just as there’s a Mercury retrograde to mess up your life, there’s also its antithesis, its nemesis, its perfect universal balance. And that balance is called Carmen.
Carmen retrograde is the phenomenon that happens every few months when ALRNCN shares a fresh batch of her videos. We don’t know if it’s magic, science, or just a lucky cosmic shift, but after watching Carmen, things start going right—your life and the universe fall back into balance.
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For Apple users
You might have noticed that when attempting to join our Telegram Channel you get a message that flags our content as sensitive content, which ends up not letting you see anything; this means you have the parental control activated.
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Go hard!