Published on 2025/04/03
THE PURITY GURUS
faisan, david
They say that if you jerk off:
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You lose strength.
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You lose confidence.
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You lose self-control.
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You can’t focus.
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You don’t succeed.
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You don’t get laid.
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You don’t sleep.
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You don’t hustle.
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Your toast burns.
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The milk boils over in the microwave.
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Your grandma cries and doesn’t even know why.
And it’s all because of jerking off.
According to some testosterone gurus, masturbation is basically a betrayal of your destiny to be great. Every time you touch yourself, Elon Musk gets richer and you get poorer. Every solo orgasm is a step further from success.
And there you are, staring at your hand, thinking all you were doing was releasing some tension, sleeping better, and avoiding the shame of sending voice notes to your ex or your crush. But nope, turns out you’re ruining your life.
Luckily, science has been saying the opposite for years: that jerking off reduces stress, helps you sleep, makes you more aware of your body, and doesn’t turn you into a weakling—it just makes you more chill and functional. But of course, that doesn’t sell self-help books or “Alpha Male 7.0” courses.
So yeah, if one day your milk overflows in the microwave, don’t blame it on jerking off. Blame it on not watching the damn thing.
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Pouty lips.
Published on 2025/04/02
THE WASHING MACHINE: THE SILENT REVOLUTION THAT CHANGED THE WORLD
The washing machine isn’t just one of the most useful home appliances—it played a massive role in something much bigger: freeing up women’s time. Before it came along, doing the laundry was an hours-long (or even days-long) job, done by hand, in cold water, with a ton of physical effort. It was such a grind that entire days were set aside just for washing clothes.
The first electric washing machine was invented in the early 20th century, but it didn’t become common until after World War II. As it made its way into households, it freed up countless hours each week and helped open the door for women to join the workforce. It’s no exaggeration to say that the washing machine gave a massive boost to feminism—quietly but powerfully.
🌀 Fun fact: In 2009, The Economist published a list of the most important inventions of the modern era… and the washing machine ranked higher than the internet and mobile phones. They literally said it “did more for women’s liberation than the right to vote.”
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Workout for the week: Done ✅
VISIT OUR STORE AND TREAT YOURSELF TO A GREAT GIFT. ONLY FOR 100% ALRNCN FANS.
Published on 2025/04/02
ELASTIC GIRL
Elastigirl is every dirty-minded Pixar fan’s wet dream. Officially known as Helen Parr, she’s the mom in The Incredibles—a superhero with a body that stretches like gum and a figure that breaks the laws of physics: tiny waist, outrageous hips, and a skintight suit that leaves little to the imagination. No wonder people have lost their minds over her.
But Elastigirl isn’t just out there saving the world and throwing punches—she does it while keeping the household in check, serving full-on mom energy mixed with authority, sex appeal, and curves that should be illegal.
On Reddit, Twitter, and the darker corners of the internet, Helen Parr has become one of the most idolized MILFs in animated history. And while Pixar probably didn’t mean for it to go that way, the fandom made sure it did. Memes, spicy edits, borderline NSFW fan art, and cosplays that barely cover anything—Elastic Girl has gone from lovable character to full-on sex symbol for an entire generation that grew up watching The Incredibles… and now sees her very differently.
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The guys at the next table.
Published on 2025/04/02
FROM LEATHER TO SOLID GOLD: THE STORY OF THE OLISBOjavi, smm, walter, david
Long before sex toys looked anything like what we know today, women in Ancient Greece already knew how to handle things on their own. Olisbos—phallus-shaped objects made of leather, wood, ceramic, or even bread—were loyal companions when husbands went off to war. Far from being taboo, these early dildos were part of everyday life in cultures like the Greek, Roman, Egyptian, and even Chinese, often paired with simple (and effective) lubricants like olive oil.
Throughout history, the olisbo didn’t just stick around—it evolved. It showed up in plays, scandalous poems, erotic Japanese novels, and even in the private collections of European royalty. From the sex strike in Lysistrata to tortoiseshell dildos in Japan and Queen Isabella’s legendary solid gold toy, it's clear that female pleasure has always sparked creativity.
Funny how many people still think female sexual desire is some modern revelation, thanks to feminism and sexual liberation. The truth is, women have always enjoyed sex—and there were times, like in classical Greece, when they were even more sexually free than today. It’s just that, like so many things, it got buried. But history? If you dig a little, it always has something juicy to say.
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When you're the odd one out but still want to feel useful.